Archive for the ‘behavior’ Category

Don’t let foreclosure occupy your every thought

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

One of the biggest traps to fall into when facing foreclosure is allowing your financial crisis to occupy your every thought. When you’re being bombarded with phone calls from creditors and letters from the bank it’s not easy to live a life outside of foreclosure. It’s as though your financial problems have set up base camp in your brain. Right? And they use your subconscious insecurities about your self-worth for kindling. The fire continues to burn in your head. Its oxygen is your fear of failure.

So, it’s truly not easy. I completely get it. But you can douse those flames

You can create a foreclosure-free zone in your brain.

Here are 4 things that worked for me.

1. Pay attention to your thoughts
It’s easy to allow automatic negative thoughts to overpower your mind if you’re not paying attention. So start by paying attention. Notice how often you allow your thoughts to return to financial crisis and foreclosure. And get that you’re actually the one allowing your thoughts to go there.

2. Just change the channel
My mom gave me some advice as a little girl that has helped me in this area. I used to have a hard time falling asleep because my mind would go to dark places. I would think scary thoughts and I would become too scared to sleep. One night Mom said, “Just change the channel.”

That resonated with me. I reached my hands up to my ears and turned them like knobs on a TV. (Remember when TVs used to have knobs?) I turned my hands around my ears until I landed on a happy channel. And then I drifted peacefully to sleep.

It worked for me then and it works still today. When I’m overcome by negative or dark thoughts I know that I can just change the channel. If the little girl version of me could do it, the adult me can too.

3. Designated wallowing
Being in foreclosure, or unemployed, or in bankruptcy are serious states of being. There’s no question about that. Sometimes, when my mind was overwhelmed by losing everything, the only thing that would work was to actually allow the thoughts to exist. But only for a designated period of time. If you must, wallow. But only for an hour at the most.

Set a timer and declare the next hour your personal pity party. Go full out. Pity yourself to the max. Be a world-class wallower. Be dramatic. And when the hour is up, move on. Change the channel.

4. Live your best life now
Losing everything isn’t easy. But, in my experience, one of the worst things you can do is allow it to occupy your life. Live your best life now. Do not wait for the crisis to pass before you start living. Your life is happening now. It’s not waiting for you. Don’t miss it. (I’m starting to sound like Ferris Bueller now: “Life moves pretty fast; if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!”)

You’ll be surprised what amazing things you can create in the midst of losing everything. Trust me.

What would you add to this list?

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